What is IFS?
Intro to Internal Family Systems
This integrative approach to therapy has not only changed my life for the better, but has also been SO transformative for my clients. I’m grateful for the insight it has brought to my life, and I’m especially grateful for the ability to share it with others.
IFS is recognized by NREPP as an evidence-based practice proven to be effective in supporting individuals towards positive outcomes for mental and physical conditions. IFS stands for Internal Family Systems, but it is not family therapy. It is actually a model of therapy based on the understanding that the human mind is subdivided into many different parts. These parts all have different characteristics; they exist within our minds and each play a role in our human experience. Our parts work together (and sometimes against each other) and exist very much like an internal family within our psyche. Some parts have healthy roles that help us in functional ways, while other parts have extreme roles that cause dysfunction and dis-ease. Regardless of your current relationship with your parts, know that there are no bad parts.
If this is sounding a little too far out, let me demystify it for you. I’m sure you’ve said or heard this before: “Part of me feels like ______, but another part of me is like ______.” Sound familiar? Maybe you aren’t as new to this concept as you thought.
I should also probably mention that we aren’t talking about “personality disorders” here. Actually, it’s normal to have an internal system comprised of various parts. The inner system is healthy when every part feels accepted, feels connected, has released any burdens, and has chosen a role that fits its strengths. Dis-ease occurs when parts take on extreme roles, become polarized with each other, and are disconnected from the Self.
In addition to the many parts that make up the psyche, there is one key aspect of the inner system: the Self. The Self, as it is named in IFS language, is similar to many other concepts in psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. You might be more familiar with the terms higher self, inner being, true/authentic self, seat of consciousness, loving awareness, etc. The Self is the witnessing “I” in the inner world. It is the place of insight, awareness, and consciousness. Every human has a Self, and the Self should be the leader of their inner family. Our level of Self-leadership is not only expressed in our inner world, but manifests just as much in our outer world. The IFS model describes the Self with 8 C-words and 5 P-words, which you will read in the picture below. When you feel these qualities, your Self is in the lead. When you feel opposite qualities, (such as criticism, judgment, hatred, disconnection, or fear) you are experiencing another part in the lead.
The Self: Your Inner Sunshine
This solar eclipse painting is a metaphorical representation of the concept of Self. Imagine that the Self is represented by the sun in this image. The sun, just like the Self, has a lot more to offer when not limited by the metaphorical shadow from the eclipse. Many of our parts intend to protect the Self (especially the extreme parts). In doing so, they also block a lot of our self-energy and block our metaphorical light. When our parts are extreme, they can limit our ability to embody our authentic selves, and they also limit our access to the wise insights and innately healing resources we have within. The goal of IFS therapy is to end the eclipse and allow the sunlight of Self-energy to shine again.
My role as a practitioner is to hold a safe space where my clients know that all of their parts are welcome, accepted, and worthy of love. I guide them to explore their inner worlds through IFS education, visualizations, meditations, and insightful conversation. Over time, my clients become experts on themselves. They learn how to listen to their bodies, become aware of what they need, become fierce advocates and caregivers for themselves, and make the necessary shifts needed to transform their lives as they desire.
There is a LOT more to IFS, but I hope this little introduction intrigues you to look inward and spend some time getting to know yourself more deeply. If you are curious to learn more, or would like to try an IFS session, please reach out. I would love to work with you!
Resources:
Learn all about IFS: https://ifs-institute.com
Extensive IFS book list
I also recommend these amazing episodes from the “Dear Gabby” Podcast (by Gabrielle Bernstein):