Jackie O'Leary

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How to Build a Better Relationship with Your Symptoms & Yourself

Step 1: Become aware.

Start by noticing the symptom (emotion, feeling, thought, or sensation), but unbend from it. How do you experience this symptom? Witness it from some space so that it doesn’t consume or overwhelm you.

For example: Transform “I am anxious” to “I am experiencing anxiety.” Because, remember, you are NOT your anxiety! It’s only a part of you (with a good intention :)

TIP: You can create internal space between your Self and any difficult sensation by focusing on your breath. Breathing deep, into the belly & chest, helps to center yourself when doing this inner work.

Step 2. Cultivate curiosity.

How do you feel toward this symptom? Are you able to access any genuine curiosity? If yes — find out more about it. See if you can receive the message it has been trying to share with you.

For example: “Dear Anxiety, what do you want me to know? What do you want for me? How are you trying to help me?”

Step 3. Cultivate compassion.

After gaining a deeper understanding of the symptom, offer it some appreciation & support, as you would to a beloved family member.

Ultimately, offer YOURSELF loving compassion in this way. Loving yourself involves loving every part of you, even (especially) the parts that are the hardest to love.

True compassion inspires action… You may want to help the hurting part of yourself, or at least stay connected with it in some ways.

Ask the symptom (AKA this part of you): “How can I best support you? What do you need from me in order to feel better?”

Step 4. Heal yourself.

Start to see all symptoms as messages from your intelligent body. Connect with them to gain the powerful insight required for healing & any conscious change.

Lead from this compassionate place to support your own healing & the healing of others.

Your compassionate, curious, insightful Self-energy & conscious awareness is healing in and of itself! Simply acknowledging, honoring, and staying open to learn more about your feelings (physical & emotional) has a profound impact on your whole health & wellness.

Did this practice resonate with you? If so, you will LOVE Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy!

If you want to learn more & explore deeper, reach out to work with me one-on-one and see how IFS works in therapeutic practice.